Thank goodness I got that damn intro out of the way

That shit suuuuuucks.


Know what else sucks?  Jobs.   I currently get paid to hide out in the dark, playing on my phone and reading blogs monitoring expensive equipment and doing super-important things like tweezing my eyebrows and fixing shit when it inevitably hits the fan because I've neglected it (that eyebrow hair won't groom itself, people!!).  Thankfully, my company employs people to take complaints from customers who realize someone's been fucking around and gone and let something dumb break.  Darn dumb things, always breaking and ruining my blog-reading sessions!

Which is why I've decided- rather than pay me to be at work doing nothing, why not pay me to be at home with my pants off, drinking wine (or vodka...shh- don't tell my mom!) and gaming?!  That way at least I can neglect everything at my leisure, and let's face it- I'm much more pleasant to be around when I've been boozing it up.  At work I'm just a grouchy bitch (what's with this "sober in the workplace" attitude, anyway AMERICA?)

So, dearest company, I humbly request you pay me to stay home and the heck away from your shizz.  And possibly drunk-dial you on occassion.  You can totally drunk dial me back, that's cool.  We could have phonesex later or something.

Also, what happened to my pants?