HOLY CRAPULATING POO BUCKETS.'
LONGEST. DAY. EVAR.
It probably would go by faster if I actually did work, but that's sooooooooooo boooooooooooooooooooring. We're raising a nation of fucking pansies, why can't I be one from time to time? A pansy, that is. Not a nation. My ass may be ginormous, but not *that* big. C'mon, people!
Because I've never raised a single human offspring, I'm totally qualified to criticize America's parenting skills (collectively, of course. What kind of generalizing monster do you take me for?!)
These purple mountain magesties SUCK- they should just start shipping tykes off so they can build me some comfy-ass shoes, because that's really what I need- SOME DAMN MOTHER FUCKING COMFY SHOES THAT LOOK AWESOME. You know how hard it is to find 10W shoes that are cute? Yeah, thought so. They don't exist!
So, I guess the moral of that story is start popping out kids so they can become cobblers that work for free. And grow shoe-making material, because I'm a cheapass who isn't about to start providing it. Maybe we can genetically engineer these kids to just grow shoe material off their elbows or something? Kind of like an extra fingernail, but more useful.
Well? Get on it!
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